If I Knew Then What I Know Now
It all started when I posted a pic on social media this weekend wearing a new pair of $27 (!!!) jeans from Target:
A lot of women who commented/responded to the pic said the same thing:
“Um, those look exactly like the ones from Madewell and those are NOT under $30.”
Yeah, well.
I remember being in college and going to Atlantic City with my parents for the weekend (is that weird?) for the first time in my life. I quickly found myself on the Roulette table and started DOMINATING. I learned how to play, what risks to take and how to bet safely so I didn’t lose the money I was making — which, at the time felt like a lot because I was like, 19 years old.
I walked away from the table with around $350 and was STOKED. I thought about what I’d spend this newfound money on — money I did nothing to earn except sit at a table and place chips on a red and black board.
So, what’d I settle on? Jeans. Two pairs of jeans, to be exact.
When I got home to Long Island I went to a department store in the mall and bought two pairs of jeans that retailed at about $150 each.
Guys? I would NEVER do that now. Never. I don’t care if the jeans were once worn by Michelle Obama, made my ass look like J-Lo’s or if they were so comfortable and flattering and had the perfect amount of stretch. I don’t care if I got a huge bonus at work or won some kind of contest or lottery. $150 on jeans…is dumb.
So what’s my point? Back when I was 19, this felt normal. So many girls I knew wore these expensive name brand jeans and I thought it mattered. I cared that people saw the “7 for All Mankind” label on my tush and deemed it horrifying to wear jeans that WEREN’T high end.
Being a label whore does not matter to me now. Designer things aren’t necessarily nicer or better than items found in more budget-friendly stores.
I know that now, but didn’t know then.
Turns out, there’s a LOT I wish I knew back then — if only my future self could have given me a heads up. And if I could have, I would’ve said:
- Sunscreen/skincare is important. I know you love the beach, and that’s wonderful. But you also LOVE being really, really tan…and not wearing sunblock. Don’t do this. Lack of sun protection and sweet tans in your 20s = wrinkles, dark spots and freckles in your 30s.
- When it comes to makeup, less is more. Again with the need to be tan! You got a really heavy hand with that bronzer, girl, and you need to chill. Also, you wear more black eyeliner than the lead singer of a Goth band. I assure you, you’d look better wearing a lot less.
- You don’t need everyone to like you. Shocking, I know! But you’re not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s OK. Tea is gross, anyway. You’ll get older and start to love coffee.
- You can burn some bridges. It’s nice to be the person who stays chummy with everyone forever, but sometimes, friendships run their course and can end. Don’t fight it.
- If you don’t like where you are, move. You are not a tree. Good Lord, woman. Please leave that man/job/situation that you’re so freakin miserable in. YOU’RE NOT STUCK.
- Don’t touch your dang eyebrows. Thin ones are in for like, ten seconds but eventually? The thicker and bushier the better. Don’t wax ’em off.
- What makes you popular as a teen/young adult isn’t what makes you popular and likable when you’re older. Don’t worry about mean girls who make others feel inferior; they’re gonna have a wayyyy tougher time later in life than you are.
- Family isn’t lame and holidays/events spent with them aren’t a drag. You’ll grow up and eventually enjoy, treasure, and really really LOVE the time spent with family and wish you had more time with those who are no longer around. Also, your family is awesome and WAY more fun than those things you keep ditching them for.
- Wear your retainers. You’re gonna end up needing adult braces cause you didn’t, fool.
